Shameless

        I am generally a shameless lady. This can offend people at times, but I find it to be a gift from God. Why should I be ashamed? What am I going to accomplish with that? Shame has always baffled me, though. I mean, I have struggled with shame, but it is different. The shame is almost never for myself. I would feel ashamed of my mother more than anything else, usually. But one day, I just let it go. What do I care if others think I should feel bad for things that I do or that happen to me? It is a waste of time, usually. People have told me how impressed they were at me for going to church while I was pregnant. I was terrified at first, but not because of shame. I was worried I was going to have to get ugly with someone if anything was said. Of course, after the baby came, things were said and I did feel shame. But it wasn't for me and my situation. It was for the woman who said it.
      I think my lack of shame stems from this: to me, shame is of the devil. It, like offense, is yet another thing that brings us away from God. Feeling badly over things you've been forgiven for, that have already happened, is taking you away from what Jesus is trying to show you now. It is another way the world gets in between us. And it's a waste of time.  I thank God for this misunderstanding of this emotion. You won't find me, head down and sullen over events that are too late to change.  If you're a Birth Mother, please do not be ashamed. God chose you, because you are strong, to bless a family in desperate need. You are such a gift to these people. Do not hide from your church or from your friends and family, just because you are wearing the evidence of your sin. It is literally growing into the biggest blessing you could bestow on another family. And a willingness to talk about it will help you so much in the long run. People will understand your situation so much more, they will get a better look at the gift of adoption, and their respect for you will grow so much in the wake of your love for this child. I am not pretending it's easy, but wasting time on shame certainly won't help. And I thank God for His help in that.